Sunday 14 May 2017

All aboard for Brexit?

All aboard, please. Do you have a ticket?

“Yes, to the EU! Who’s driving us?”

That’d be David Cameron. But Theresa May is also here. She’s the navigator. She says the EU is the best destination for the nation!

“Great. I agree.”

Sharp U-turn ahead. Hold on to your seats.

“What’s happening? We seem to be going in the opposite direction!”

Change of plan. We’re not going to the EU.

“What? So where are we heading?”


“But that’s not where I want to go! Where’s the driver, David Cameron?”

Oh, he got off a few stops back.

“What! So who’s in control?”

Well, for a while there wasn’t anyone in control. But don’t worry we have a replacement driver now.

“Who’s that?”

It’s Theresa May. She says Brexit is the best destination for the nation!

“But before she said that the EU was the best destination (for the nation)!”

Yes, I know. But the passengers had a vote and told her to change direction. She just does what she’s told, see. (So long as it suits her).

“I’m not happy. I want to get off.”

Sorry mate, we’re full steam ahead. Theresa’s put her foot down.

“I want a return ticket. I want to go back!”

Not possible. This is a one-way trip. Brexit, here we come.

“But this is the bus that said ‘Stronger In Europe’ as the destination!”

Yes, that’s right. Same bus, new route. Theresa May is in control now. It’s her name on the bus. She’s taking us to Brexit. There’s no turning back.

“Look, just ahead, I can see cliffs. We’re driving towards the edge…”

Oh, nothing to worry about, I’m sure. Theresa is a strong and stable bus driver.

“But, but… She’s got a blindfold on. She can’t possibly see where she’s taking us.”

Yes, it may seem that way. Thing is, she doesn’t know the exact route to where we’re going, or even where we’re going to end up. It's not entirely up to her, you see. The previous driver, David Cameron, said it was like a leap in the dark. Exciting though, eh?

“I want to change driver! And the destination!”

Well, there’s only one chance of that, just ahead, in about 25 days time. If enough passengers decide, on 8 June, we could change driver, we could even change destination.

But after that, there really is no turning back mate.

• Yes, last year's 'Stronger In' bus heading for the EU with Tory Prime Minister, David Cameron, and the Theresa May bus heading for Brexit, really is the same bus, with the same number plate: YT12 RLV
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