Sunday, 19 December 2021

Catch him if you can


Everyone please be alert. There’s a man going around pretending to be a Prime Minister.
He is not that convincing in the role, so it’s surprising that he’s getting away with it. But people have been fooled and so far, he has not been caught.

Don’t call the police. Unfortunately, that’s one of his other guises.

If you call the police, it’s possible he’ll turn up dressed as a policeman. Senior police officers seem convinced by his authority and have let him join them on their investigations. Even though this man has no training or qualifications in police work.

He has also been known to get kitted out as an army officer, a construction worker, and garbed in a white coat, holding up an injection.

Whatever you do, don’t let him provide you with any medical treatment. This man has zero qualifications in medicine, just as he is not qualified to be in the army, work on a construction site, or act as the country’s Prime Minister.

This man is known as Boris, but he has other aliases, such as Alexander, de Pfefel, Doris, Bojo, or simply, Tosser.

As for looks, he is described as a dead ringer for Benny Hill (but the Benny Hill fan club has raised an objection about that).

Catch him if you can, but the best way may be to call his bluff. Pretend that he really IS the Prime Minister, and at the next democratic opportunity, simply vote him out of the job.

Or it’s possible that the courtiers who’ve fallen for him soon discover he’s an imposter and promptly eject him.

Just be warned, however, that if he stops pretending to be a Prime Minister, he is likely to adopt the persona of another leading role, as apparently, he suffers from delusions of grandeur.

If his game of being a Prime Minister gets found out, he may try instead to be the Queen. And that really would be a drag.

Other articles by Jon Danzig:
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